Random Film Quick Thoughts: Twilight
Beware of spoilers!
Over the weekend I got a chance to see Twilight, the vampire tween movie starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson - I needed to write a quick thought about it just to get a couple of things off my chest. Since the movie premiered several months ago, I've heard a whole bunch of things from friends, bloggers, and critics - some good but mostly bad. When it comes to movies, I have a couple of sources that I like to go to because my tastes in films is usually on the same page as them. Unfortunately, this time it was split.
When it comes to vampires, I've always been the kind of guy that likes the European Gothic type, for example; that's why I love the Underworld movies so much. Then you have vampire movies like Blade, which I love (the first and second only). Twilight never faked the fact that it wasn't either of those - vampires that also didn't have the normal vampire qualities. When people would explain to me some of the things that went on in this movie I usually shaked my head and said that's not what a vampire is.
Anyhow, I finally saw it for my self and to my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I thought but it's still really stupid and I think it's hysterical for a couple of reasons.
For starters, when a vampire walks into sunlight, they usually burst into flames or explode. No, in Twilight they glitter like diamonds. Lol, WTF!! That's ridiculous. Some people might say "well, it's different, that's why it's cool." NO! It's stupid and I think it's ridiculous that it's supposed to make vampires look "beautiful". They're the living dead and they're meant to be frightening.
Secondly, vampire baseball. Granted, the concept might seem a little interesting, but it's not something I ever want to see again.
The visual effects of Edward running up the mountain with Bella on his back is possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. It almost was on the same level as naked Borat fighing naked Azamat. Sure, I understand it's not easy to create but there's no denying it looked absolutely awful.
One of the scenes that had me ROTFL was when Bella walks into her science class for the first time and Edward looks at her, gets her scent, ... is it me, or did Edward touch cloth. When he made that constipated face, I lost it! He looked like he shit himself causing me to be taken right out of the movie and laugh for about ten minutes.
Make no mistake, this is for little teenage girls who want to get wet over a constipated vampire - and that's ok, I'm not knocking that but for everyone else, I'd say skip it or watch it when your bored. In fact, I might do a commentary track for it one day just to make fun of it.
Oh, by the way - Nikki Read looked pretty damn hot in Twilight - and was it me, or did Kristen Stewart look exactly like Emma Watson?
That's all! I just wanted to say a couple of things.
-Phil
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