Zombie Strippers:  What can I actually say about this movie.  I got a chance to see this today and this is going to be a quick review because it doesn’t deserve much of my time and it’s not hard to review this movie.  Zombie Strippers stars two legends in their own right, porno legend Jenna Jameson and horror icon Robert Englund.  They star along side a cast of… well, sluts, in this horror comedy about strippers turning into Zombie’s and eating their customers while making loads of cash.

In a way, Zombie Strippers is your perfect B-movie.  It’s extremely low in budget and if you like these type of movies, you’d have a simple and fun time watching it.  Other then that, this movie sucks.  There are B movies that have become, cult classics’s and people love them, however don’t expect that with Zombie Strippers.  If it actually does in the future, then it’s just another example of how the film industry has changed.  B movies aren’t like what they use to be back in the 80s but this, at least for me, was crappy enough to sit through.

There isn’t much I can say that is good about this movie, so I’ll just skip that for the moment and get all of the bad things out of the way.  The acting is atrocious… even Robert Englund.  Jenna Jameson can’t act unless she’s having sex on camera so don’t expect much from her in this movie, except her naked body, which I might add looks great even if she looks like she’s gotten plastic face surgery 150 times the past month.  They used the cheapest and worst CGI possible.  They even used CGI blood!  For the love of god, they could have at least used watered down Ketchup but instead they used really really bad visual effects.  As an example, when a head got shot off, it exploded in the most indescribable fashion and I’m not talking about gore.  I’m talking about that it’s so badly done I can’t explain how it looked.  The costumes were horrible, the sets looked like a closet’s and crack house bathrooms.  I could go on and on about the bad things, but I think you get the point.

Strangely enough there were in fact some good things, but it really doesn’t help at all.  First, the women in this movie all have incredible bodies and it’s always a pleasure to see naked women dancing.  One of the character’s actually made me laugh, an actor named Joey Medina who played Paco, the strip clubs janitor.  He had some funny material to work with and I found myself giggling when he was on screen.  Jenna Jameson boyfriend, Tito Ortiz made an appearance as the bouncer and he did a few funny things all just by reacting.  Finally, the last good thing and probably where all the budget money went to was the make up for the zombies.  It’s actually pretty damn impressive for a very low budget shitty movie.

Overall, this movie is really bad if you haven’t gotten the hint yet.  However, if you enjoy the sexy eye candy, bad acting and pointless gore, then Zombie Strippers is probably a film you’d get a kick out of.  Even though its useless to rate this movie, I give it a 3.5 out of 10 and it’s mainly for fake boobs that were in this.

-Phil

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